{Once Upon a Family}

Do I Regret It?

2012-01-22T19:37:00.001-08:00

I was recently asked, "Do you regret it?" The person was referring to the three month journey we took with an expecting mother considering placing her child with us in an adoption plan. However, that tentative adoption plan was just that, a plan. As we spoke with her and built our relationship, we knew the entire three months that she was considering adoption, and she'd stated that we were the only adoptive family she wanted. We also knew she was considering parenting, and later in the journey, considering a family adoption placement vs. our family. So, do I regret our family taking this journey even though she ended up deciding something other than placing with our family? No, I don't. No regrets, at all. It's difficult to explain why I feel that way, but I'll try to put it into words.

Over the course of the three months, we knew there was a 50/50 chance we would be parents to a new life and get to form a bond with a wonderful woman and her family that only adoption can form. We also knew that as a confident, contentious, and smart woman, that B. could very well parent her child and nothing would be lacking. But discussing those two differences is like discussing the ending point in a journey. And I like to think more of the journey than the ending, as it was the ending that brought us the heartache. Heartache that, while painful, we have the ability to cope with it and will heal with time.

It was a great journey though. Over the course of the three months, which may not SEEM like a long time, our family grew. We opened our hearts to another person, fully and completely. We opened our lives to her. As we got to know her each day through emails, phone calls, texts, and meetings, we were given a unique opportunity to share ourselves with her also. We grew to love her, and we still do. So, of course, our family included her in our prayers and when she'd tell us she was struggling, we would fast with her and increase our prayers. As we prayed, we were very careful in our wording; not once did we ask our Heavenly Father to bring us a child. We asked that B. be led, guided, and strengthened as she made her decisions. We asked that His will be done, and that our little family would be strengthened and be blessed with the ability to accept her decision. We also asked if we were doing what was right and for Him to lead and guide us also. And we were not disappointed. We got exactly the things for which we'd prayed: We were strengthened. We have been able to accept her decision.

Not only that, but as I look back, I can see exactly where I was given strength and, at times, even little whisperings about our future, although I didn't know it then. Songs, blog posts, and even a chosen "word of the year" strengthened me. About a week before we learned of her decision, I was sitting in the kitchen listening to "My name is Hope" by Debbie Coon. A song that had become a staple in our home, and on the repeat cycle of the CD player. JJ walked through the room and I made a statement about something I'd been feeling and thinking in the back of my mind, "JJ, I keep thinking and feeling like B. isn't going to place with us." Of course, I'm known to be a worrier and this feeling caused me anxiety... so we both kind of brushed the feeling/thought off as "stress." However, in combination with many other small, tender mercies and what I now know to be whisperings of the Spirit, I can clearly see that it was Heavenly Father preparing us. He DID lead and guide us. He DID strengthen us. And something more? He gave ME the ability to HOPE. The word I'd been so dead-set on focusing on this year, one that I have always struggled with.

You know, after so many discouraging "almost" adoptive situations over the past 2+ years, I had learned to not "get my hopes up," just as a family member had stated (she made an off-hand comment that she wasn't going to really get excited about a particular situation or "get her hopes up" until we had a successful adoption). In fact, many people have told us that very thing about various "hopeful" possibilities... "Don't get your hopes up!" Do you KNOW how HARD it is to hear that? I started to internalize it. Over time, it started to feel like people were telling us that they didn't have faith in us or Heavenly Father and that lack of faith and optimism would just suck the hope out of the particular situation we were excited about. I took a very pessimistic attitude and continually focused on the "we won't get this one either" attitude, thinking it would make it hurt less when it didn't happen.

This short, three month journey, in particular, DID strengthen my family. It taught us continual hope with EVERY situation, no matter how "grim" or "impossible" it may seem and/or appear. And while we've have cried and from time to time when we think about it since B. told us, we still can feel HOPE. No, I don't regret taking this journey. I feel like my family is much stronger and so am I. No regrets.

Adoption Fundraiser: Update

2011-12-27T10:49:00.000-08:00

Hey Everybody!

We're so grateful for the opportunity to show you the progress our adoption fundraising puzzle has made (mind you, there are a few more pieces we need to add, we're just REALLY slow at putting puzzles together). We just wanted to let our family, friends, neighbors, and a few amazing people we've never even met, and have helped us raise funds for our adoption know how incredibly grateful we are. It sounds kind of silly to say, but we are very humbled and our hearts are touched to see how many people have shared our blog, linked to our post on facebook, donated, kept our family in prayers, and helped us spread the word. Saying a simple "thank you" just doesn't seem to be enough to express our feelings.

We've got a couple more weeks of our fundraiser left, hopefully we'll be able to put our entire puzzle together by the end. We just wanted to take a quick breather and say thank you to those that have supported us and post a picture of the progress!

Love,
The Bargers
JJ, Shine, & Andy + Another set of toes, hopefully coming sometime this year! :)

Adoption Fundraiser

2011-12-17T10:47:00.000-08:00

We decided to start our second adoption journey in November of 2009. Our home study was completed in April of 2010, we became foster licensed in November of 2010, and have had many, many possible situations that haven't turned out successful for our family over the past 2 years. Well, guess what! We're hoping to expand our family this next year and feel positive it will be our year! :)

As many of you know, our adoption funds were greatly diminished this August when our wonderful son had the opportunity to learn a lesson and teach us a lesson also.... when a hose was left on outside a basement window and flooded our basement. Along with that, the economy is such that after JJ graduated in July, we're very thankful for his current job, but he hasn't been able to use his new degree in a Bachelor level job yet. So, to raise the very last of the funds needed to bring baby home, we're hoping for support through an adoption fundraiser.

The purpose of this fundraiser is to raise money for this hopeful adoption by "selling" puzzle pieces of the above picture. Each piece of the puzzle will be worth $10.00. You can buy one piece, 10 pieces, or 100. ;0) When someone "purchases" a piece of the puzzle we will write their name on the back of the puzzle piece and connect the pieces together. As pieces of the puzzle are connected, we will update the blog with pictures so that everyone can see the puzzle being put together. When the puzzle is complete, we are going to glue it together and hang it in the nursery. When our hopeful new baby is older, he/she will be able to take the puzzle down and look at the back. He/she will see how important he is to the many, many people who helped bring him home.

To donate online click on the chipin widget to the right side of this page.

If you don't feel comfortable donating online send us an email at jjandsheyannadopt@gmail.com and I can give you our home address to mail your donation. We will be sure to send you a thank you letter letting you know that we received it.

We appreciate all the love and support that we have received through this whole process. If you can spread the word, link to this through twitter, Facebook, share it on your blog... we would love to get this puzzle together so we can bring baby home as soon as possible.

Thank you!
The Bargers
JJ, Shine, Andy, + Hopeful One

P.S. Please click the link to our http://www.blogger.com/www.andysclan.com blog to donate on the "Chip-In" Widget, located on the upper right hand side of the webpage. Thank you!

2011-08-22T09:31:00.000-07:00

To the woman who allowed us the miracle of being parents to our beautiful son, we pray you are well and healthy where ever you are and we hope to see you again someday soon! Know that we love you and think of you much more than "often."

To those expecting parents that may be considering our family for their child, this song touches our hearts completely. We find difficulty expressing our feelings and thoughts of the miracle of adoption, but as you listen to this song, please know it conveys the words of our heart.

We hope we are able to meet YOU soon!

Love,

Jeremy, Sheyann, & Andy

Video by Alison Hargreaves Lowe, song by Cheri Call

Smallest Gifts

2011-04-25T06:45:00.000-07:00

Although we share a closed adoption relationship with Andy's birth mother (at her request), we openly discuss adoption in our home, frequently. We celebrate the day Andy joined our family! We remember and talk about his birth family on Birth Mother's Day (AND whenever we can/whenever he wants to know about her). We talk about our numerous cousins and family members that were also adopted or joined our families through foster care. We have discussions about how some families are made of parents and biological children and how some families are made of parents, adopted children, foster children, and maybe biological children; each family is different and unique, but they're still a family. We read books about adoption, both books written for children and books to educate us as parents with children adopted at all ages.

While we want our children to feel they are very much unique, special, and cherished because of their adoption, we also want them to feel adoption is an "every-day, normal occurrence" in some families; "normalized," as Mama Mem states. Like she states it, we do not want Andy to feel his adoption was "sensationalized." We are just one of the families that grew through adoption. It's an odd balance to search for as a parent.

We often wonder if we're teaching our son well or if we're confusing him. Along with every parents' concerns for developmental, physical, intellectual, and emotion health for their children, adoptive parents often worry how their children will react to being adopted throughout their life, if we've bonded properly, if we're teaching him enough/too little about adoption, are we doing more harm than good?!

Each day is different; some days I wonder if I'm bonding and connecting enough to Andy (especially when it's a difficult day with a three year old....Moms... you know what I mean!) and some days I KNOW he loves me and I'm wrapped so tightly around his little finger there are no worries or concerns. I'm sure every mother and father feels those feelings from time to time, however, adding adoption into the mix creates new worries about bonding, connecting, preventing more trauma... there are so many differing views and opinions of adoption, it's overwhelming at times. Adoption is not for the faint of heart. There's alot to worry about as parents with children added to a family through adoption. We all want our children to easily find and realize their identity, self-confidence, and self-acceptance. We want them to know love. We want them to gain everything they need in our home to one day live independently and be a productive and happy person. As parents, we want the world for them!

On those days that we're still in our pajamas when Daddy gets home, coloring books and crayons are all over the kitchen table instead of dinner, the laundry still isn't done, Andy had multiple tantrums and no naps during the day, Mommy feels like crying, and I wonder if I'm doing alright as a mother, I simply have to realize we survived. Some days, on "those" kind of days, it is the little tiny gifts of our children telling us they love us that keeps us moving on and gives us a renewed sense of hope, commitment, and strength.... which is always good when you have an energetic, curious, three year old. Yesterday, I received a text from JJ and one of those life reaffirming, small, simple gifts from my Andyboy. As JJ wrote on our family blog:

"Today I experienced one of the many miracles that I've stopped counting since you joined our family. These past few days I've wondered if you've been connecting with us as your parents. In the adoption world often there's a concern that the parents and the child won't bond properly. That was never really a worry for me until the last couple of days, for no real reason. Mama has a book that we read to you, it's one of your favorites. It's called "I Wished for You" by Marianne Richmond. You call it "A Wish Come True." In the book a baby bear is talking to his Mama about her wish to have a baby and how HE was that wish come true. As I opened the book to the first page, I was greeted with your wonderful words: "Daddy, you know Mama?" Exasperated and ready for you to be asleep, I answered: "Yes, son. Of course I know Mama." To which you replied: "She's my wish come true." You have a special relationship with your mother. She hoped, prayed, and cried for you for many years. In fact I often say she was built for you. And, it seems, you were built for her."

Yes, today, everything seems right in the world because of that one small gift to me my dear son, no adoption worries here.

Our First Formspring Question! :)

2010-12-03T23:13:00.000-08:00

would i get to see my baby if i gave it up? would u guys let me visit the baby?

For expecting mothers and fathers considering adoption, one of the most important factors effecting their decision is openness and communication after placement. Some prefer very open adoptions where they are able to receive letters, pictures, videos, and visits through the years. Some prefer only letters and pictures. Some prefer no contact at all. It is a great question and very important.

With our son, we have a closed adoption due to safety issues surrounding his birth mother. She requested it be this way. We trust her judgement and support her wishes. Should she ever contact us desiring more communication/contact, we will GLADLY enfold her into our family as much as she'd like. I can't help but admit I watch other adoptive families with strong, open relationships with their children's birth mothers and feel a longing and reaffirmed commitment for open adoption; not only for our child, but for us and her as well. We wonder where she is, how she is doing, how she feels, if she longs to tell her story to our son. Soon, he might have answers for her that WE may not be able to answer. In open adoptions, birth families have a very important role, a very special role; the child gets to hear all sides of their story and we feel the child's life is more complete with birth families involved.

We would love to find a situation with an expecting mother hoping to place her baby in an open adoption. Our definition of "open" means we email her and snail mail her with letters telling about all the milestones, events, and our life/the child's life with cute full frontal faced pictures of the child... plus any other cute ones we want to send. My cousin makes yearly slideshow videos of her two boys who were adopted for their birth mothers each Christmas season... I LOVE that idea and would be willing to do that also. Sometimes distance will put constraints on how often adoptive and birth families can visit each other as traveling great distances can be quite taxing at times. But, we would love to include birth mothers, birth fathers, and birth grandparents in birthdays, important life events, holidays, and take occasional trips back and forth to see each other when possible.

We also would do our very best to be as respectful and supportive if the situation changes; wanting more or less communication as the birth family works through difficult feelings and life changes. Open, honest communication is SOOO important!

Short answer to your question: Post placement contact is usually agreed upon by both adoptive parents and birth families; both sides discuss situations they are most comfortable with and come to an agreement. For us, we are comfortable with visits, phone calls, email, snail mail, videos, and having birth families being actively involved in the child's life.

:) Thank you so much for your question and the opportunity to answer it. It was a fantastic question!

2010-09-14T10:30:00.000-07:00

Video made by a birthmother who placed a child for adoption. It touched my heart. http://birthmothers4adoption.blogspot.com/

Adoption Views: Birth Mothers, Birth Fathers, Birth Families and Praying

2010-07-28T14:20:00.000-07:00

As I was wandering around online, I came across a blog post addressing adoptive parents. No, biggie, I am constantly reading adoption articles, many of them addressing adoptive parents. A few months ago, I came across a blog written by a birthmother. She made many valid points about insensitive wording, appearing too perfect, and many more things that many adoptive parents do unintentionally that could hurt peoples' feelings. In turn, I scoured our adoption profile for anything that could be considered insensitive, fake, or offensive.... striving to present ourselves as honestly, genuinely, and kindly as possible.

The post I came across yesterday, this "Open Letter to Adoptive Parents and 'PAPs'", was mainly along those lines also. And I agree with many of her topics. I was, however, blown away by one point she made in her "dos" and "don'ts" list for adoptive parents.

"Pray." Please, please, please don't ask people to pray that a birth mother "makes the right decision and gives us her baby" or anything along that line. Do you believe that God would rip a woman apart mind, body, and spirit in order to answer your prayer? Do you really want to believe that? I'll pray with you for grace and patience. I'll pray with you for peace. I'll pray with you for a birth mother's strength and clarity. And I'll pray with you for everyone's health. Please don't ask people to pray for you to get what you want at the expense of someone else. Is that what you're going to teach your child?"

Now, normally, I take each piece of advise, mull it over before I decide if it is going to be "a grain of salt" or "taken to heart." I do think the third option, "taking a stand," needs to happen on this one point.

I pray. We, as a family, pray. And often. We are very spiritual people. And we pray for the opportunity to bring children into our home and family. We are guilty of asking others to pray with us. And there will certainly be some changes in SPECIFICALLY what we'll be praying for from now on.

But, as adoptive parents and parents again hoping to be given another opportunity to raise a child, we WILL pray for just that. That DOES NOT mean we are praying for a woman's mind, body, and soul to be ripped open or apart, or anything along those lines. We do NOT in ANY FORM pray for someone's pain. I agree, that is horribly cruel. We very clearly understand that something unplanned and difficult has happened in the life of a woman and an unplanned and possible unexpected pregnancy resulted. We sincerely feel that we are an OPTION for her. She still has her agency to choose abortion, adoption, parenting HER child, leaving her child at a Safehaven site, having her parents help her raise the child.... the options to her are endless. But US praying that we can be someone's "option" if adoption is her choice, IS NOT horrible, insensitive, or cruel. And we would be very honored to teach our children that we pray for children and birthfamilies to find our family so we can love them.... through our fostering children, through adoption, through loving our children's friends, our nieces, our nephews, etc.

We believe all people are given agency to choose their lives paths. We would never say a pregnancy is a "mistake." It is the consequence of a choice (sometimes, the result of someone's choice being taken from them). It may have been a surprise, but we believe our Heavenly Father DOES have a plan for each of us, according to our choices. And we feel that in that in the circumstance of an unplanned pregnancy, God would fully support the choice of adoption, *if that is what the expecting mother chooses.* What may be a difficult trial (note I did NOT say MISTAKE) for a woman to be pregnant, especially if unexpected, CAN be a period of growth, learning, (most definitely lined with pain and suffering), but a blessing. A blessing to be able to parent a child (even if it is not at the most convenient time). A blessing to one waiting hopeful family, *if* adoption is the chosen path. A blessing to learn from this experience. A blessing to grow into a woman more confident as she takes this time in her life to plan what she DOES want to happen, and then accomplishes her goals. A blessing for her to realize that she is STILL a marvelous, loved, woman, and always has been. There is NO disgrace in choosing adoption or being a birthmother. Why aren't expecting mothers that CHOOSE adoption respected more for their clarity and grace in making such difficult decisions? And while we'd most definitely prefer adoption over abortion, we would NEVER *DREAM* of judging an expecting mother's decision... whatever the choice may be!

So yes, we pray for the opportunity to be chosen as parents through adoption or foster/adoption. We will pray that we will have the opportunity to open our home and hearts to NOT ONLY a child, but an entire birth family through open adoption, if that is their desire. We pray for the opportunity to turn what may be a very difficult circumstance into something a woman can reflect on for years without regret, as she watches her child grow in a home of unfeigned love, happiness, teachings of Jesus Christ, and unconditional support (and of course the ups and downs of life... we have them too). A home that she can very much be a part of through open adoption. We definitely pray for peace, strength, clarity, health, and patience (more than you know for patience). We also pray that, despite the unexpected circumstance, this woman will know that she is, and always will be, a beloved child of Heavenly Father. A woman given divine worth, always worthy of His love. And that is exactly how we will TREAT every woman in this circumstance that crosses our paths. That is how we strive (sometimes "feebly try") to treat EVERYONE in our lives.

So we will pray. Always. And thanks to the article, we will pray more specifically. And we will STILL ask others to pray with us, for us, and for expecting mothers, expecting fathers, and birth families; we'll just be more specific in what we're praying for! :)

http://jjandsheyann.blogspot.com/2010/07/as-i-was-wandering-around-online-i-came.html

2010-02-23T15:20:00.001-08:00

When 10:30 pm comes around tonight, I'll be thinking of the same exact time, only 2 years earlier. At that exact moment in time, I was at work. The hospital where I worked then plays Brahm's Lullaby every time a baby is born. At 10:30 pm, February 23, 2008, I heard the lullaby overhead and turned to a very dear friend/co-worker. I made a comment about how incredibly painful it was to hear that, and then a smart-aleck comment. During the day that day, I'd watched Juno about an adoption story. Knowing both the TCC route and the adoption route were out the question for us, she gave me a smile, patted my back and told me she loved me. Then we went on with the rest of the shift. Who knew that moment, that lullaby was for me? I certainly didn't!!!!

I returned home after that night shift, went to shower and go to bed so I'd be refreshed for my next shift that night. As I stepped into the shower, literally, stepping into the shower, my phone rang. I wrapped my rob around me and ran for the phone. It was a number from my hospital, but not the floor I worked on. Odd. Normally, I'd let it go to VM, but something made me answer it and I was shocked to hear my Uncle on the phone.

Long story short, he was at the hospital with a friend who'd just given birth. For many reasons, which I'm not getting into now, she knew she couldn't keep the baby like she was previously planning. So they were there calling everyone they could think of for help. I wasn't the first on the list, actually, I think I was the last (get it? last? okay.... that wasn't as punny as I thought it would be). Fact is, my Uncle suggested us, and I'm so, so, so grateful that he did. As he told N. about us, she agreed to meet us.

15 minutes later, we were meeting N. She was sitting in the hospital bed with her son between her legs. I was nervous. My husband was nervous. She was nervous. At the exact same time, I can honestly say I've never been more calm and confident. And then suddenly, we were parents. It was surreal and wonderful and she is and always will be my hero. We took care of legalities, and met with her later, after she was discharged.

That is when we really got talk to her, a little more calmly. I held Andy for the first time. They were both indescribable. So many times over the past two years, I've wished we had a semi-open or open adoption. I've wanted to call with Andy's new developments and cutenesses, send photos and notes.... I've really wanted her to know how she changed our lives and how much we love her and our son. I wish she could see that not a day goes by without me thinking of her or wishing she could see how happy we are. I wish she could see how spoiled Andy is!!!!! And not just by us.... by Grampies, Grammies, cousins, aunts, uncles, a "Grammy Watson" who is the friend/neighbor across the street, and more!

We understand her reasoning and support her decision of a closed adoption. So, now we patiently wait until she comes back or until he wants to find her. In the meantime we'll enjoy life; relishing being parents, being a family, camping, cooking, reading stories, cleaning messes, watching Disney movies constantly, building blocks, racing cars, celebrating each birthday as a momentous occasion.....raising our son... who is currently sitting on the floor with a box of Nilla Wafers between his legs while watching his favorite movie "Cars." We are the luckiest people in the world to have been blessed so much! N., if you're out there reading this, we love you! Thank you for this wonderful son! Happy birthday Andy! Daddy and Mommy love you!

Common Questions Birth Families May Want to Know...

2010-02-07T10:13:00.000-08:00

Are you married? Yes, May 9, 2003!

How Long? This May (2011), it will be 8 years!

Religious/ Religion? The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS)

Do you have any children? We have one son, Andrew, who was adopted at birth. He is our whole life!

Can you conceive your own children? Not this far. :(

Why? We truly, truly wish we knew! We've been to many doctors and we know that things aren't quite right with my husband, but short of very expensive and invasive testing, we don't know!

How long have you thought about motherhood? :) My whole life. I have the best mother in the entire world. As a stay at home mother, she taught me everything from cooking to housekeeping, sewing, working along side the husband, being independent, and following your dreams. As she taught me the divine role of motherhood by example, I often looked forward to the future, dreaming of having and teaching my own children, just like my mother.

Why haven't we adopted already? We did! :) 3 years ago, we adopted our son, Andrew.

Why not get a loan? We don't believe in going into debt with the exception of funding for education, a home, and a car. We believe that by being self-sufficient, we in turn have more freedom financially. Debts are burdening, cause stress, and limit our ability to afford things like adoptions, building our savings, and planning for the future.

What type of adoption are we choosing? With our son, Andrew, we have a closed adoption, at his birth mother's request. We are SOOO grateful for him, but we feel a piece of our family is missing... not having his birthmother around. This time around, we'd love to find a birth family that would like contact after the adoption, either open or semi-open. If possible, we'd like to have an independent adoption through just a social worker and lawyer, but are signed up with an agency also so our birthmother can have more resources provided to her.

If you could become pregnant would you still consider adoption? Absolutely. Sheyann was raised with many cousins adopted from all over the USA, Haiti, India, and Korea, each cousin having a special place in her family. JJ has two foster aunts that are amazing women. Although we chose not to actively purse adoption until after learning of our infertility, being foster parents and adoptive parents is something we've always considered important. We feel foster care and adoption bring a unique opportunity for our little family to learn to love and embrace all people and embrace differences. They each will be celebrated and treated with love and cherished!

What do you offer a child and his/her mother they choose you? Respect, honesty, love, and family. We cannot promise perfection, but our home will always have love, teachings of Christ, honesty and respect, and family fun. We can promise to be the best parents possible and learn from each child, as each child is different. We promise to communicate to the best of our abilities.

Are you open to gender? Yes! We are open to girls, boys, twins, triplets, and more!

Are you open to ethnicity or perfer same ethnicity? With adopted cousins from Korea, India, Haiti, Texas, Georgia, and more, we welcome all cultures, religions, ethnicities, and plan to celebrate our diversity and differences. We cherish our heritage and lineage and plan to teach our children to love theirs also!

Those Days

2010-02-06T21:28:00.000-08:00

It's me, Sheyann. It has been one of "Those Days." You know those days where you fall into bed at the end of the day and pinch your eyes shut as hard as you can so the horrors of the day disappear into sweet, numbing unconsciousness? Or at least you pray that you'll fall asleep before your mind starts wanting to relive them....analyzing everything that you should have done better. You know those days where the saying, "Everything that possibly could go wrong, did," is the highlight, the highpoint, of the day? I know those days. I'm a mother. I'm not perfect. I often eat my feelings or bake my frustrations. I love the nights where I can rock my son to sleep without temper tantrums interrupting the peace. But, like I said, I'm a mother. I'm not perfect. I believe in love and hope. I believe that I learn to be a mother each day that I live by watching others, mostly my mother and sister. Today, I was inspired by a video. It was everything about motherhood that I believe in and want for my children.

It inspired me to wake up tomorrow morning and to learn from my "Those Days." This is why I love being a mother, why my family, my children are the most important people in my life.

Child of my Heart

2010-01-11T11:24:00.000-08:00

Oh my child, child of my heart.
There is so much to tell you, where shall I start?
I know you're out there, maybe even now.
I know that God will lead you to me, someway somehow.

I may never feel you kick or hear your heart beat for that first time.
But, from the moment that I hold you, there will be no doubt that you are mine.

Maybe even now, your birth mom is considering what to do.
I can only imagine what she is going through.
Maybe she is a child herself, with dreams yet to fulfill.
Maybe she is not ready for a little one, but I know she loves you still.
I know her heart must be breaking, and at night she cannot sleep.
I know if it were possible, it's you she'd want to keep.

On the other side, I am waiting here.
I can sense her love for you and also her fear.
I wish that I could tell her of all the sleepless nights,
of all the tests and procedures and the prayers that this time just maybe it would be right.

I could tell her of all the tears, of all the prayers I've had.
Of the times that I felt so lost, of all the times I've been sad.

I can offer a Mom to kiss away the hurt and tuck you in at night,
I can offer a Dad to teach you to play ball and how to fly a kite.
I can offer a home and a family complete with Aunts, Uncles,Cousins,Granny and Grandpa.
They are all waiting for you, and loving you from afar.

I will share my love with you each and every day.
I will tell you of the woman who loved you in every single way.

I will make sure that you know just the sacrifice she made.
And if you someday want to meet her,
I will never try to dissuade.

For without this special woman,
I would have never had the chance to love you.
My dream of being a Mom, would have never come true.

So, please if you are out there.
Please know I care.
I know what a sacrifice you are making and I would never judge you, that would be unfair.

I am praying for you even now and please know from the very start.
This child will always be a part of you and a child
of my "heart".
Written by "Vicki"

I came across this poem the other day and it brought me to tears. For Andy's birthmother, I sure hope someday you read this and know how much we love you!

Meet Andy...

2010-01-05T19:31:00.000-08:00

Andy is our greatest blessing. When we decided to adopt December of 2007, we figured it would take 6 months to years and years to adopt a child/baby. Throughout the entire two months before we got Andy, we both felt an incredible urgency to get our homestudy finished, to find an agency... to have everything ready. Then we'd really start networking and looking for the right child. Our little family joke is that Andy (through his birthmother) found us... and before we had everything ready! Over the past 2 years with Andy, he has taught us so much! From the many, many adopted family members in our family, we knew that each child would bring a unique personality with individual learning styles, personal characteristics, and mannerisms to our home. So, we tried to be as prepared for the "unknown" as possible. Our little "unknown" is very talkative, cheerful, happy, easily taught, eager for affection, very loving and lovable, intelligent, and tender-hearted. Andrew LOVES to be around people and from the early months of his life, he's loved to jabber, jabber, jabber. Currently, he'll talk to tractors, his elephant, Horton, to his train, his ball, his many book characters, or even his bottle. He's often frustrated when we don't understand his language, so we've started using American Sign Language to help him communicate more. He's able to sign "milk" "bath" "please" "thank you" "food" and "no." He mostly signs milk and food! And OH MY! He LOVES his family! Half of my day at home with Andy is spent explaining where Dadda, Grammy, Grampy, Wyatt, and various other family members are that day... why they aren't here playing with Andyboy! He loves to run, play outside, eat cheese, grapes, noodles (Mac n' Cheese), and "Dot Dogs." He is our whole world... a very exciting, rambunctious, whole world!

Our Dream

2009-12-15T12:30:00.000-08:00

We have officially started the adoption process, again, by beginning to update our home study. Here's hoping for baby #2 coming soon! I've never been more nervous or scared in my life, I think this is even more nerve wracking the second time around! Then, in the very next minute I'm looking at adoption situations/opportunities online and my heart is so full I can't remember ever being less than joyously happy. To say that this year will be a rollercoaster would be an understatement and simply false. Just thinking of the whole adoption process scares me, what an emotional time! However, when I feel discouraged or heart broken, longing for the child that is missing from our family, something inside of me whispers, "Your baby loves you and is waiting for you."

I hope that somewhere, very soon, a magnificent woman and strong, brave man, will be looking at pictures of loving families. I imagine their hearts will be nervous and scared also, she'll be feeling discouraged and disappointed like me. He may be scared and unsure. When they turn the page to see my JJ, I hope they'll see his kind, yet playful eyes, feel his integrity and honesty, hear his silly, teasing voice that brightens my universe, and know how his calm and gentle personality has changed my family's expectations of how a "real" man should behave. She'll close her eyes and her mind will become enlightened with images of JJ teaching her child to ride a bike, see him taking her child on tractor rides, giggling when he tickles the baby before nap time. Then she'll see JJ carrying her child in our house for me to clean the scrapped knee and then cuddling the tears away. He'll see JJ providing the child with loving counsel; teaching the child to treat women, and all people, with respect and love, JJ using his kind words to guide the child as they make decisions and use their agency to choose.

They'll see me reading story after story to the baby, rocking and singing the baby to sleep, just like we do with Andy. They'll see me walking the child around the block to the very first day of school, baking the fourth pan of brownies today and laughing when the big brother, Andy, smudges flour on his face, me lovingly rubbing their back as they crying on the bed after the first boy/girlfriend breaks up with them.

As they read about Andy, they'll feel relieved to know that he was also adopted as a newborn. They'll see how his personality, so happy and cheerful, brightens any day... no matter what. She'll see Andy holding her baby for the first time, while jabbering "baby, baby, oh, tiny-tiny." (like he does with his cousins). He'll see Andy and his baby playing on swing sets and plotting to attack Daddy with snowballs when he comes around the corner of the house. I hope they'll know how Andy sees every baby and instantly thinks it is "his" baby. They will see Andy always sticking up for her baby, even when bullies in high school or wherever, threaten to harm her child. That is just how Andy is.

Then somewhere amid the dream of what these two people are looking for in a family for their child, the child will suddenly become "our" child, a combination of their child and ours. She'll know that she has the divine blessing of giving birth to the baby, and the baby will always be a part of her. He'll know that he will always have a "role" in the child's life. They will understand that, just like with Andy, this baby will know that it has been adopted, NOT abandoned; THIS baby was loved from the first minute of life. They'll see that while we may raise our baby, it will always be our privilege to tell that particular child how he/she had a birthmother, birthfather, and birth family that very much loved him/her. Even more, should they choose so, they will be welcomed into our home and family, free to call, email, occasionally visit, just like family. They will know that open adoption, while often difficult, will provide trust and confidence for our child, respect from us, and love for them. They'll always be welcomed, respected, and loved in our home as well. They'll also know that we are their choice and our dreams will pick up right where their dream left off.

Recent Family Pictures

2009-11-25T08:22:00.000-08:00

Andy is now almost two. How did that happen so quickly? JJ and I have almost been married for 7 years. And when did that happen?
We're pretty excited for 2010, hopefully it will be a year of miracles! 2009 has been busy and fun... most definitely, 2009 has been be a year of change and growth. For our anniversary, JJ and I took our honeymoon trip to Chicago... after 6 years. Ha ha ha. Andy stayed in Utah with his grandparents (JJ's parents). Poor kid, all that spoiling! Also this year, JJ started classes; going back to school full time to finish the few remaining classes for his Bachelor and then hopefully begin his Masters Degree afterward. We're hoping to have the Bachelor of Computer Science finished by next December at the earliest, but it will probably take until April of 2011. I'm working fulltime, but it has been manageable. I was able to transfer to a night only position at a small surgical center. I'm finding I prefer it over the regular Medical/Surgical floor; I don't have as many patients and am able to spend more time with each of them. It has truly been a blessing to our small family. Also, thank goodness we have so many very, very supportive family member nearby! Andy hasn't been in daycare, just loved by family members. Our hearts are overflowing with appreciation and love for their support and help while JJ's in school!
Just wanted to give you all a little update with our lives! :)
Love, JJ, Sheyann, and Andy

All About Sheyann by J.J.

2009-02-27T20:34:00.000-08:00

I met Sheyann in August of 2002. The story she tells of how we met and the story I tell differ somewhat, so in the spirit of compromise, I'll stipulate to meeting her through my roommate Robbie. Two days after our original introduction, I felt the need to apologize for "some things" (aka... I teased her ALOT during our first meeting) and took her out for ice cream. From there, our friendship blossomed into what has now been almost six years of unfailing appreciation and love.

Sheyann is about 5 feet 8 inches tall, with blond hair and blue eyes (that's what she tells me anyway, I'm color blind). She's a Registered Nurse and loves helping people get better, she always has loved people. She's a part time nurse and full time mother to our first adopted son, Andrew. I'm amazed at how immediately she went from being soley a wife to also a mother when we brought Andy home. She's been prepared to be a mother since she was a little girl, I think.

I love Sheyann because she loves to tickle me and she teaches Andy to do it too, even though it's been outlawed in our household (she just says that so she has a free pass to tickle me and I can't tickle her). She's always light, happy, and cheeful, even silly sometimes. Sheyann is a fantastic mother and will do everything she can raise any children we adopt with a heart full of love and patience.

Andy's First "Gotcha Day"

2009-02-24T19:16:00.000-08:00

365 days ago, at this exact hour, I was rocking my son, not quite 24 hours old. I remember the sheer exhaustion and awe and shock and sweet love that I felt as I rocked him. I couldn't stop looking at him; afraid that if I even blinked that he'd disappear and it would be another dream. Fast forward to 2:00 am the morning of the 25th, I'd been up over 40 hours and the exhaustion had more than consumed me. I was so tired that as I changed Andy's now seemingly tiny-tiny-tiny diaper for the millionth time, I cried and cried and cried because I realized I was changing a diaper. My son's diaper. Still afraid to blink, but still on some level realizing that he was still with me. I cried for the difficult choice his first mother made; I still worry if she's okay and think about her daily. I think about my Uncle Tim daily also; his attention to the Spirit and his relationship with Heavenly Father that allowed him promptings to think of us. I now sit and cry with the same awe and gratitude as I think of my parents and siblings (both Bair and Barger) that either came the minute they heard, or spent hours on the phone with us supporting and celebrating our joy. What a great community and neighborhood we live in! When our friends and neighbors heard, we were flooded with blankets, meals, and visits.

I'm finding that having children grow up (and in this case, out of the newborn and infant stage) actually is quite bittersweet. I long for Andy to stay a baby, but am incredibly excited with each new learned skill, talent, development, etc. I just long for another baby also. I can't wait for another baby, to watch Andy play with a sibling. More than anything, I'm once again overcome with gratitude for each person in our little miracle. I'm thrilled to cherish and remember each moment of Andy's "Gotcha Day," and truly honored to be given the privilege of being his mother.

Andy's Story

2009-02-01T12:45:00.000-08:00

So the background: My husband JJ and I were married May 9, 2003 in the Idaho Falls LDS Temple by JJ's Grandfather Packard. We lived in Rexburg, Idaho while we both attended college. We wanted children fairly early after getting married, despite our very young age, and after four months of married life, we started actively trying to get pregnant. Living in Rexburg, attending college, we were not strangers to the phrase “poor-as-church-mice newlyweds.” It didn’t matter, EVERYONE else was having children too, and we could manage just like them. However, it was not yet time, nothing ever happened. In April 2004, we moved to Twin Falls. I entered the Registered Nursing Program at the College of Southern Idaho. We still wanted children; I cannot describe how much we yearned for them, still actively trying, but we were SOOOO BUSY, so we didn't "sweat" the fact we weren't getting pregnant. It was still not time. By 2006, we WERE sweating it! Despite many visits to fertility doctors, it still wasn’t time. Years past. Four to be exact, still no children. Waiting and waiting for them to come, I finished the RN program; we moved to Shelley, Idaho and bought a large house with many rooms for children. More fertility testing followed. It was not yet time, still nothing happening, and nobody could give us any answers *why* nothing was happening naturally.

I watched as sisters, friends, cousins, neighbors, aunts of friends of neighbors, and the neighborhood dogs all had babies; everybody but me. And the pain, ache, crushing horror was often unbearable. Luckily, my older sister having a baby was also a blessing. Tending and playing with my nephew Dillon, whom we now lived by, helped ease the hurting ache that yearned for my own children. I would hold Dillon and pretend he was my own baby, the ones I knew were up there for me. I’d think of what we’d play and how I would teach him (everything from gospel principles to school science projects). Many nights I would pray and cry and plead and beg for ANY resemblance of understanding, and we fasted, and we went to the temple, and I didn’t understand. It was STILL NOT TIME..

The Decision to Adopt: It seemed like we were at a fork in the road: Spend thousands of dollars on fertility tests and treatments without a solid guarantee of ever having children, or try adoption, where we KNEW we would end up with children.... it was just a matter of more waiting. JJ and I talked about it endlessly, visited an LDS Family Services meeting talking about adoption (where we were treated pretty poorly and left with a bad taste in our mouth with LDS Family Services), tried to gauge how different extended family members would react to different adoption situations. At that time, it just didn't feel right. JJ especially had major, valid concerns about adoption. In December of 2007, we decided to look into adoption/see if we could adopt a baby after seeing a video of my many adopted cousins while at my aunt’s house, about a week before Christmas. Yet another trial began, since most of the adoption agencies have age limits or long waiting lists... in fact, every single agency in Utah and Idaho had that restriction except LDS Family Services... and we did NOT feel comfortable with them. Through the spirit, my husband and I both felt very strongly that we needed to hurry with the adoption process. It was urgent and a month had already past! Then suddenly, it was too late. We don’t know when Heavenly Father decided it was finally time for us to have children. Were we finally worthy for children now? Did we learn patience well enough? Were we SUPPOSED to learn something over those 4 or 5 years? We still wonder! :)

So now, the main event: Sheesh. How do I begin to tell about an event we could only consider a miracle? Our little muppet-legs was born February 23, 2008 at 10:30 pm. At that exact time, the hospital plays an excerpt from Braham's Lullaby over the speakers in the hospital. I was working in that very hospital on the fourth floor, heard the jingle, and thought, "Another one, I wish they wouldn't play that overhead, sometimes it hurts too much!" I made a sarcastic remark to a co-worker friend that knew of our pain (my pain) to relieve the ache. Then, that was it, no more thoughts; I carried on with the rest of my shift. After the shift, JJ picked me up and drove me back to our home. He was walking out the door to church as I was stepping in the shower (back to back shifts, had to sleep instead of church) when my cell phone rang. It was a hospital number, but not from my floor. Almost ignoring it, convinced it was someone asking me to pick up an extra shift, I finally conceded, thinking how odd to have been called from that particular number. I answered the phone to hear my Uncle Tim, a very nervous Uncle Tim. He stated that he was in the hospital and that he "needed to ask me something weird." (At this point, I was sure that it was either going to be about a family member's death or a really icky personal health question). Instead, he asked if we were trying to get pregnant or adopt a baby. I answered, "Yes!!!" He then proceeded to tell me about a situation with a friend, a woman in his ward, and how she was at the hospital and needed to find a home for her baby due to some certain situations. They'd called numerous people and nothing had come of the calls. He'd kept thinking of us and finally told this wonderful lady about us. They decided to call us. After cautioning us to be careful and listen to the spirit, he asked if we were interested. Of course we were interested, so I threw my clothes on, flagged down my hubby as he was pulling out of the driveway, hopped in the car, half-hastily explained parts to JJ, and in 2 minutes we were on our way back to the hospital.

We left our house that morning without knowing what gender, race, or age the baby was, or even if we could adopt him. There was a very real possiblity we'd simply need to be satisfied with permenant guardianship. I shook all the way to the hospital and I'm sure my heart rate was well over 120 beats per minute the whole way to the hospital too! With my speeding heart rate, I proceeded to call our parents. Since I was the one calling people while JJ drove (much safer that way), I called my parents first. When my father answered the phone, he was already choked up. Not expecting that reaction, it kind of terrified me! As I said, “Dad, JJ and I are driving back to EIRMC, there is a really good chance we’re getting a baby today,” my father’s husky voice answered, “Shine, we already know, Mom and Jared are waiting for me in the car, we’re on our way up to be with you.” I asked my father how he already knew. He proceeded to tell me that early (earlier, it was already early) that morning, Uncle Tim had called and requested my cell phone number. When Dad asked Tim what was wrong, Uncle Tim simply replied that it is "nothing bad, I just need to talk to Sheyann (me)." My father is incredibly perceptive! He then asked, “Tim, is this what I think it may be about and that is why you cannot tell me?” Tim answered yes. End of the conversation. By the power of the spirit, my father was allowed the privilege of knowing what needed to be done to help his daughter that Sunday morning. He handed the phone to Mom, who was also crying, like a good mother. Also like a good mother, she asked if I had taken anything with me for the baby. I could kick myself for not thinking about any of that! I didn’t even have SOCKS ON! Mom convinced me to let them pick up "a few" of the necessities that were most important: a car seat, a blanket, formula, diapers, and wet-wipes. When they arrived at the hospital, the back of their Yukon was completely filled with everything we didn’t have for a baby.
I also called JJ’s parents, who had the reaction I was expecting: disbelief! A week earlier, we’d been in Utah visiting them and reported the adoption process was more difficult and taking longer than we expected. At that time, they’d sent a hand-me-down crib from Heather home with us. I was baby-hungry, so I set it up in our spare room upstairs, never realizing that a week later we’d be using that crib for our baby.

Meeting Andy and N: After the longest car ride I’ve ever had, we arrived at the hospital. Once there, we met a beautiful, blonde haired woman; her son was laying on her bed by her legs. He had red, squishy skin and dark brown hair. He was breath taking! I was so tired and so nervous that I couldn't even cry! From there, Uncle Tim made some calls to an attorney to figure out what the next step needed to be. After counseling with our new attorney, we did the hardest thing we've ever had to do. We left the hospital. For many reasons, the smallest being that social services would get involved and take our baby to a random foster home until we could arrange otherwise (and the hospital nurses and social workers were pushing that option), Andy's first mother had to walk out of the hospital with her child. From there, the law gave us many ways to proceed with our private adoption.Our lawyer left church early to create a durable power of attorney that would allow us to take the baby home, that very day. So we met with Andy's mother after she was discharged, Uncle Tim, and the attorney to sign papers.

It was then that I held Andy for the first time; I had been too scared (unsure if I was supposed to or not) in the hospital. I didn't want to "push" her into anything or assumed he was "our" baby. But now she was telling me it was okay to hold him! How do I explain the rush of emotion that I felt? Exhaustion, joy, awe, gratitude, a love more powerful than any I've ever felt for both Andy and his wonderful first mother, peace and elation at the same time. The spiritual witness I felt as I held Andy was overwhelming. I knew that I was making the right choice to adopt this child, now my child. After the legalities were arranged, N. held Andy for the last time. I wish I could have taken a picture; my mind will never forget that image though. Her eyes filled with tears as I watched her breathe him in. The love on her face evident; never have I seen anything more beautiful beyond description. I cannot write the love and gratitude I feel for her. Not a day has passed or will pass that I won't think of her or remember that as I look at our baby boy. I miss her.

Bringing Home Baby: My family was all at our home when we arrived; everything we didn't have for a baby now present and accounted forL (Jared was going crazy setting up strollers and stuff!) Car seat, diapers, formula, bottles, mylicon, bassinet, diaper bags, blankets, burp rags, clothes, wet wipes, stroller. Not to mention my sisters were there, and had food for everyone and my brothers and brother-in-laws had rearranged our guest bedroom upstairs into Andy's new room. Before I knew it, my Father had all of his children around him, and was telling them about the miracles that had occurred, as told to him by Uncle Tim or as witnessed. He told how the N. had lived in another state, but had been prompted (felt) twice to move to Idaho Falls, “where her baby's parents lived.” How she moved two weeks before the birth so she'd be near us, before we even knew it. How she'd spoke with a "transient Bishop," requested information about her now-new home ward Bishop, my Uncle. She got settled with her children until the baby arrived. Dad explained how Uncle Tim had given her a blessing the night she went into labor, specifically calling the baby a "him" and telling N. about the "goodly LDS parents that would teach the child the gospel and love him." How Uncle Tim had felt inspired, thinking of our names, and not knowing why... before he knew the the situation fully.

Dad told everyone how Sunday morning Uncle Tim was called to go back to the hospital; N. needed him. How when he heard the full situation from the N., he suggested another couple to be the parents, but it didn't work out; our names kept coming to his mind. Uncle Tim then suggested our names, and N. replied, "Okay.” Mom told everyone how Uncle Tim had called Mom and Dad to get my phone number and without telling Dad exactly what was going on, Dad had Mom and Jed packed up in the car on the way to go meet his new grandson at the hospital before Tim could even call me. My wonderful, perceptive Dad knew immediately. He also retailed how there just happened to be a lawyer that knew exactly what to do, and was willing to do so on a Sunday so we could take the baby home.

The Long Road to Finalization: We were blessed to bring Andy home that very day through a durable power of attorney for health care and child care. It lasted 6 months. We had 6 months to get our homestudy completed (oh, and now EVERY agency was willing to work with us!), parental rights terminated, and all the paperwork completed before the power of attorney expired. In March, we went to court the first time to terminate parental rights and assign permanent guardianship to us. This would allow us infinite time to finish the finalization (if needed and there were some special considerations), but would also have simplified so much! However, during the court hearing, a small mistake happened. Somehow permanent guardianship WAS NOT assigned to us... or anybody really. But the parental rights were terminated, and at that point, Andy's "custody" defaulted to the state of Idaho. Our durable power of attorney was still in effect, but our "private, independent adoption" was now a "state adoption." This led to countless more hours, stacks of paperwork, phone calls, and ulcers. However, on August 31, 2008, we were finally able to finalize Andy's adoption. We blessed him in our church that Sunday and were sealed to him in the Idaho Falls LDS temple by JJ's grandfather in January of 2009.

Our Little Family

2009-01-25T20:29:00.001-08:00

Activities that keep Andy entertained are our favorite passtimes. :) Honestly, we have many interests. Our first year with Andy, we went camping about 4 times; we love the outdoors and wilderness.

All about JJ... Written by Shine

2009-01-25T20:00:00.000-08:00

Name: Jeremy Justice
Nickname: JJ
DOB: November 15, 1980
Age: 28
Height: 6'0"
Eyes: Blue
Hair: None to High Gloss
Education: Working on Bachelor in Computer Science
Occupation: Computer Technician at Idaho National Laboratory and student and husband and father
Favorite Meal: Pancakes
Favorite Drink: Root Beer
Shine's favorite feature of JJ: Crooked Southern Smile
Shine's favorite attribute of JJ's: Sense of humor

When I met JJ, I thought my "type" was tall, buff, athletic; pretty much the "stereotypical jock." Since I obviously thought there was no romantic interest there, I came to think of him as a brother-like figure or a very good friend. From the beginning, I did notice how comfortable I felt around JJ. It was very easy to talk to him, about anything. He was quiet, a good listener, very kind and gentle, thoughtful. As our friendship grew, he became more outgoing around me and I was able to see his real personality. OH MAN! There was ALOT of it! More often than not, when we were together, he'd have me laughing from our inside jokes or silly/funny things he'd say or do. I quickly started to realize how much I enjoyed being around him and I'd long for the next time we'd hang out.
When JJ moved to Washington, I thought my best friend had left. After one month away, I knew I was being dumb; he was more than my best friend. I realized how much I love him. Through 6 years of marriage, he's been the one I run home to so I can tell him about my day. He's the one that still makes me laugh from our inside jokes or by being silly and goofy. For the past year, it has been my privilege to see him in his newest role: Father.
As a Father, JJ is patient, soft-spoken, and kind. When Andy wakes up in the morning, our favorite thing is to call JJ. Even before I put the phone up to Andy's ear, he'll be telling "Dada" about his stories. When I tell Andy that "Dada" will be home soon, all I hear is "Dada, dada, dada." He'll take the time to read Andrew stories, play trucks or Tonkas, or tractors with him. JJ is very good to jump in and help whenever I need him to help with Andy... diapers, bath time, feeding, rocking, or sometimes when Andy just wants Dada. They have a very special relationship.
JJ is very respectful toward his mother, sisters, and myself. On many occasions, I've secretly listened while JJ plays with Andy or while they have their "manly chats." I'll hear JJ telling Andy about being kind to his cousins, or his mother, or about fishing... all the while, Andy is sitting on Dada's lap, enthralled. I couldn't be more blessed that through his wisdom, JJ knew I was his "type" and picked me.

Who the heck are we?!

2009-01-24T22:22:00.000-08:00

Hello!!! Welcome to our adoption blog! Here's a little about us:

Jeremy (nickname is JJ) grew up all over the United States. His father was in the Air Force, but he mainly claims Great Falls, Montana as his hometown. He is the second child in a two parent family of four, one older sister, one younger sister, and a younger brother. JJ works at the Idaho National Laboratory as a computer technician. If it has anything to do with computers, he loves it. If he could pick his favorite hobby next to computer-izing, he'd have to choose fishing, camping, hiking, and spending time with family.... wait.... he forgot to mention drinking rootbeer!! He loves reading to his nieces and nephews and has a way of calming them when they are upset. Shine thinks JJ is a very kind-hearted person and excited to watch him learn and grow as a father!

Sheyann (nickname is Shine or Shiney) grew up on a potato farm 30 miles outside of the nearest "town," in Taber. She moved pipe to irrigate crops, drove tractors, grain trucks, and potato trucks. Nothing was more rewarding than working year after year with her brothers and sisters and cousins. Shine has an older sister, two younger brothers, and a younger sister, all of whom she considers her best friends, along with her parents. Her nieces and nephews each hold a very special place in her heart. She loves the outdoors and wide open spaces. She loves riding ATV's, motorcycles, snowboarding, camping, hiking, fishing, waterskiing, singing, playing the flute, guitar, and piano, and of course, building snowmen. Shine is a Registered Nurse, who has worked in an ER, extended care facility, a cardiology (heart) floor, and as a regular Med/Surg nurse. She loves fixing and caring for people. Her favorite part of the shift is when she gets to tuck the patients in at night. Silly, but true. (Her favorite part is rocking Andy to sleep after his bathtime, bedtime story, and bedtime songs).

Andrew Justice came into our family via the miracle train! You can read about his adoption story below. Andrew is truly our miracle-man. He is now 11 months, 1 day. As a tall, skinny, energetic boy, he has brought us more joy, laughter, and worry-lines than we ever thought possible. His happy, sociable, intelligent, and bubbly personality keeps us on our toes and running after his next grand idea.... like re-decorating the bathroom with toilet paper. It was such a lovely shade of white too! When Andy is around his cousins, he loves to play cars, trucks, tractors, climbing on furniture, and give loves.... or just talk to them (in baby language still). (Am I rambling too much about him now... he's just the greatest!). Our happiest times are when we all wake up on weekend mornings and have family snuggle time in Daddy and Mommy's bed... then a big country breakfast.

We own our home in a small town in Idaho, close to most of our family. We've been married for five years, and if you want the *true, honest, and totally correct* version of how we met, you'll need to ask Shine. JJ tends to fudge things to make him look better. The short, condensed verision (Shiney approved) is that JJ stalked Shiney until she panicked and gave in. :) Okay.... so... you'll probably need to hear both sides and judge for yourself. We love to laugh and have fun. We are LDS (Latterday Saints or Mormon).

An interesting fact about our family: Sheyann has 18 adopted cousins total! Most of the cousins are from Haiti, two from Korea, one from India, and some from the United States. Adoption is very near and dear to our hearts, without it, more than half of Shine's family would be missing!!

After years of preparing and waiting for children, we decided our home, hearts, and our hands were just too empty and through the miracle and love of adoption, wewere able to find our first child, Andrew (okay, he really and truly found US). However, we're finding he's such a social creature, he needs a sibling. (And JJ says that Shiney's baby hungry again). Our hearts can feel a need for more children in our family. We cannot possibly understand what a difficult decision it is to have to place a baby up for adoption. What love and concern the birthmother must have to entrust her child to be raised by another. We truly admire your decision and consideration of us as possible adoptive parents.